When I Look to the Sky
by vickitori303
Summary: Bella was living a blessed life. She had a family who loved her, a job she enjoyed going to everyday and a boyfriend who she thought was the one, but then tragedy struck and turned her world upside down. Will Bella be able to get her life back on track?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey everyone. This is something that has been floating around in my head for the past couple of months and I've finally decided to write it down. This story is will be more tragic than WfDR but I hope you all will give it a chance.** ** Thanks to my beta Dawn for fixing this up for me.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

Prologue

_ "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."_-Marilyn Monroe

I always believed in this quote, but I was never able to apply it to my own life. I believed I was living a pretty blessed and fabulous one—I had parents who were still in love thirty-two years after getting married and were each other's best friends, which was rare in this day and age with couples getting divorce left and right. I had an older brother, who always looked out for me, but as I grew up, learned to let me protect myself. I had the three best girlfriends any girl could ask for, including one who became my sister-in-law. And I had a job that I loved to go to every morning; it didn't pay much, but I was still able to pay the bills with a little help from my parents every once in a while.

My personal life was one to write home about; one that had my mother smiling every time I mentioned his name and one that had my father worried about having to let me go soon.

However, that all was thrown to the wind only a couple months before I received the news that caused my world to come crashing down.

**A/N: The first chapter should be posted shortly. Let me know what you think.**


	2. Tragedy Strikes

**A/N: Thanks to my beta Dawn who made my words pretty, xo. **

**I don't own Twilight.**

Chapter 1

There are certain phone calls that no one wants to get; there are the phone calls from pranksters, the bill collectors, the drunken friends or the drunken exes, but none of those compare to the one that makes your whole world stop.

I got that dreadful call from my brother, the one that continued to replay over and over in my head because I wished it had never happened.

"Hey, Eminem" I answered, taken by surprise that his name appeared on my phone screen.

Emmett never called me unless he needed to talk about something important; I figured he was having marital problems since he was busy in law school or something happened to his dog, who was pretty much his child.

I sat up in bed, suddenly getting a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, like things were not right. I immediately started to gnaw on my bottom lip as various disaster scenarios played through my mind.

"Hey, Bella, what are you doing?" he asked trying to be nonchalant, but failing because he didn't use my nickname.

"Just watching some TV, nothing exciting. What are you up to?"

"Are you by yourself?"

"Yes, why?" I asked, confused.

"Well, I have to tell you something and I don't want you to be alone when I do. Is there someone you can call who can come over?"

I looked at the clock and noticed it was nearly six o'clock. I had spent the day with one of my good friends and knew she'd most likely be busy with her boyfriend.

"Um, no, but just tell me what's going on, Em," I said, now biting my nails.

"I really don't want you to be alone when I tell you this, Bella"

"Just tell me what the hell is going on, Emmett," I demanded, getting up and walking out to my TV room. He was really starting to worry me.

"Dad passed away today," he said, choking on his words.

"Wait, what?" I asked, not hearing what he said as I sat down on the sofa slowly.

"Dad...he's gone, Bella."

"Shut-up, Emmett. That's not funny," I said, trying to keep my voice even.

"I'm not joking, Bella. Mom found him outside the house this evening. They think it was a heart attack."

"You're lying. You're lying, Emmett," I repeated as I shook my head.

The words weren't making sense in my head; I couldn't grasp them. My dad couldn't be dead, I had just talked to him earlier in the week and everything was fine. He would have told me if he wasn't.

I felt the water begin to pool in my bottom eyelids as the words Emmett said repeated in my head- _Dad passed away. Dad is gone. Dad died._

"I wish it wasn't true, Bella, but I'm not kidding. Here, talk to Rose," he choked, as I heard him hand the phone to his wife and one of my best friends.

"Bella," she said, the sadness evident in her voice.

"Rose, please tell me this isn't true. Please, tell me that Emmett is lying to me," I pleaded with her as the tears fell freely down my cheeks. "Please."

"I wish I could, but your mom found him out in the driveway. He had just gotten home from work or something. We're on our way to the house now. You need to book a flight right now. Okay?"

"Okay," I said, trying to focus on the conversation at hand instead of all the things that were running through my mind concerning my mom, work, getting approval to fly home, my dad's wishes, etc.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Call me back."

"Okay. Bye, Rose." I ended the call and tried to think of who I needed to call, but my mind was spinning and nothing was clear.

I put the phone down on the table and realized I was shaking; my hands wouldn't stop trembling.

_Focus, Bella. You have things you need to do. You have phone calls you need to make, you have a flight you need to book. Who do I call first? Who will come be here with me?_

I thought of the three people that I was the closest to, who lived nearby: Jessica, Riley, and Mike. Thankfully, I didn't have to make that decision because as if she had some intuition that something was wrong, my phone was vibrating and it was Jessica.

"Jess," I said, nearly choking on her name.

"I know, Bella, and I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm on my way now."

"Oh my gosh, Jessica. I can't believe this is happening," I cried.

"I'm almost there, Bella. Just give me five more minutes."

"Wait, what do you know, Jess?" I asked, remembering her words. _Does she know what happened to my dad? How? Who told her? No, she couldn't._

"Your mom called Mrs. Summers and Lauren told me I needed to come to your place."

"He's gone, Jess. My dad is gone," I cried into the phone.

"I'm turning into your apartment complex now. I'll be right there."

I ended the call and tried to compose myself a little bit before making my next call. I wiped the tears away and called my best friend, Alice, who I grew up with and lived in Seattle.

"Alice, I have to tell you some bad news," I stated after saying 'hello'.

"What is it?" she asked, worried.

"It's my dad, he's gone," I said, somehow keeping my voice even.

"What do you mean he's gone?"

"He's dead," I said keeping the lump in my throat at bay. I placed my hand over my mouth to keep in the sobbing noise that wanted to escape.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. What can I do?"

"I don't know," I answered, honestly.

_What could she do? The one thing I wanted done was not possible. I just wanted my daddy back._

"What happened?"

"I'm not quite sure. Emmett says my mom found him dead in the driveway."

"Oh, Bella. I don't know what to say to you. How's your mom?"

"I don't know, I haven't had a chance to call her. I just found out. I have to book a flight home."

"Okay, you do that. I'll call your mom. Let me know when your flight lands, I'll pick you up from the airport. I'll also call my dad, see if he can give me any information."

"Thanks, Alice."

"Again, I'm so sorry, Bella."

I ended the call with Alice just as Jessica walked in the door. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her. She held me as I cried on her shoulder, letting my tears fall more freely. We pulled apart when my phone started ringing again.

Emmett had finally arrived at our parents' house. I could hear the chatter of the emergency personnel in the background; one of them was telling my mom to take deep breaths.  
>The men and women who were trying to take care of my mom were friends of the family, my dad's co-workers; I heard much more than the cries of my family in the background.<p>

While I was on the phone, pretty much just listening to what was going on in the background and my brother's heavy breathing, I was able to book a flight home. Once that task was complete, Emmett handed the phone over to my mom.

"Mom?" I said, once I heard her breath in the phone.

She started crying the moment she heard my voice; my heart broke into a million pieces. I had only seen my mom cry once and that was at my grandma's funeral nearly four years before and even then, it was only for a few seconds before she pulled it together for Emmett and I. This time, though, she didn't hold anything back. My mom had just lost the love of her life, her soul mate, the man who had been her best friend for thirty-two years and I wasn't there to comfort her.

"I found him, Bella, and there was nothing I could do. There was nothing I could do to save him," she sobbed.

My chest constricted in pain and I pressed my hand over my heart, hoping to stop the pull on my heart.

"He's gone. I can't believe he's gone."

"I know, Mom. I can't believe it, either. Do they know what happened?" I asked, trying to get her to calm down.

"They believe he had a heart attack, the kind that they say kills you before you hit the ground. The moment I saw him lying there, I knew he was gone. His lips were so blue, Bella, so blue."

"Why is everyone still there, Mom?"

"We're waiting for the guys from the funeral home to come get his body."

"You mean, he's just lying there in the driveway?" I could taste the bile in the back of my throat as I pictured the scene my mom described. Hearing that made me grateful that I wasn't at home and on the other side of the country instead; I didn't want to remember my dad that way…lying on our gravel driveway.

"Well, they have a sheet over him," she explained, finally calming down a bit.

"I don't know what to think, Mom."

"I don't either. When are you supposed to be home?"

"I'll be home around noon your time."

"Okay, baby. Do you have people there? And by people, I hope Riley is not there."

"Yes, people are here, but not Riley. He doesn't even know."

"Good, that asshole doesn't deserve to know after what he did to you."

_My mother, always the mama bear even when her world is falling apart._

"Don't worry about me, Mom. I need you to lean on Emmett. Now is not the time to be strong for us. You need to grieve."

"But he's comforting, Rose," she replied.

"I know, but there's enough of him for both of you."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom."

I ended the call and sat back on the sofa. I looked at my blank TV as Jessica just held me. I didn't know what to think, I was still in disbelief and shock. I felt as if I was having a horrible nightmare and I was waiting for someone to wake me.

As we sat there, silent, I kept hearing Jessica's phone vibrating.

"Who keeps calling or texting you?" I finally asked.

"It's Riley. I was talking to him and Victoria when I got the call from Lauren. I just told them I had to leave, that there was something wrong. Lauren told him about your dad. He wants to know how you're doing."

Riley and I dated for about three years and broke up about two months before. The break-up wasn't easy, especially since I worked for his parents, but we'd been trying to work through it because before we started dating, he was one of my best friends.

"Nice to see he can be a man and ask me himself," I said, getting annoyed. "He's such a fucking asshole. I can't believe him. Now is not the time..."

"Now is not the time for you to be worrying about that. We need to start packing your bags," Jessica interrupted, trying to get me to focus on more important matters.

"Okay," I said, welcoming the distraction.

I got up and followed Jessica into my bedroom; I pulled out my carry on suitcase, placed it on my bed and just stared at it.

"I don't even know where to start. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone. I mean, we don't even know what he wants and then there is Thanksgiving, so I doubt we can put anything together in two days."

"Do you have enough room in that bag to pack for two weeks?"

"If I don't take any shoes I think I can. I can always just borrow a pair from my mom."

"Okay, we'll do that."

It took us about thirty minutes to pick out clothes and fit them into the bag. Thankfully, Jessica was an expert packer and got everything to fit with just enough room to place my straightener and hair brush smoothly.

Just as we finished, there was a knock on the door. I looked at Jessica wondering who it could be; I hadn't called anyone else and I knew she hadn't had a chance, either. She shrugged her shoulders and left me sitting on the bed to answer it.

My body tensed the moment I heard his deep, rough voice; part of me wasn't happy that he was there, the other part of me, the part that still loved him, was thrilled to have him there.

"I don't know if you should be here right now, Riley. She's not in a good state," Jessica informed him.

"No shit, Jess. She just lost her dad. How would you be?" I heard him ask as the door closed behind him. "Now, where is she?"

"I'm in here," I answered, standing up.

He walked through the doorway and just gave me the most sympathetic face; one that caused my resolve to fall and the tears to start flowing again.

"Riley," I croaked.

"I'm so sorry, B," he said reaching me in three strides and encompassing me in his arms.

I hugged around his torso and cried into his shoulder. Riley held me, his strong hold keeping me from falling off the edge of the cliff and just giving into the grief completely. He whispered 'I'm sorry' over and over again in my ear, never once telling me 'it was going to be okay' because it wasn't.

Riley understood the kind of relationship I had with my dad—I was a 'daddy's girl' and had no problem admitting it. Riley had met my dad several times over the previous couple of years and saw our interaction; he also listened to all my family stories from my childhood.

"I'm going to leave you two alone. Call me when you get home, Bella," Jessica said, the annoyance evident in her voice.

Jessica and Riley used to be good friends— that was until he broke up with me. She preferred not to be around him unless she had to, which unfortunately for her, was more often than she'd like since her roommate was now hooking up with him.

"I will. Thanks, Jess," I said, lifting my head slightly.

"Let's sit, baby," he said once my tears began to slow down and ushered me out to the couch. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

I took a seat and he sat next to me; he placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side.

"I don't know much. I just know that they think he had a heart attack and my mom found him in the driveway."

"How's your mom doing?"

"Her emotions are up and down. During our conversation, she went from sobbing to protective mother to sounding normal."

"That's understandable. She's in a state of shock. I'm sure your emotions are the same."

"I can't imagine how it feels to find your husband dead," I shook my head, looking down at our entwined hands. "I just can't believe this, Riley. I can't believe this."

"Is there anything I can get you, anything I can do?" he asked.

"The one thing I want…no one can do, Riley. But as consolation, will you just hold me?"

"Of course. I can definitely do that for you." He pulled us down into a lying position on the sofa and tightened his hold around my body.

Lying in his arms, I realized how much I had missed that. He was an asshole, I wouldn't deny that and had openly called him that several times in the past couple months, but at that moment, I needed him there with me. I needed him to hold me and keep me together.

We were alone for about a half an hour before a parade of friends came through my apartment; each one asking how I was doing and if they could do anything. While I appreciated their concerns and efforts, I was tired of hearing those two questions.

_My dad just died, how the hell do you think I'm doing? I'm fucking fabulous. I don't need my dad in my life. I don't need the one man who has always been there for me. I don't need him to walk me down the aisle when I get married. I don't need him there to be a grandpa to the kids I hope to have one day. No, I'm jumping for joy at the news I received tonight._

Even though I was getting annoyed, I still tried to be pleasant to everyone, but eventually I had to kick them out. I needed to get some sleep before my flight, which was the excuse I used, but only I knew sleep would not be my friend.

They all left except for Riley, who refused to leave me to my thoughts. I was actually glad that he stayed. He held me as we lay in bed, a place we hadn't been together in months. I curled into his side and just cried as I thought about all the things that I'd never get to do with my dad again, things that wouldn't happen because he was no longer here. Riley remained silent, letting me drench his t-shirt with my salted tears; he ran his fingers through my hair trying to sooth me, which normally worked, but not that night.

Time moved slowly, but eventually four-thirty arrived and I had to get ready to go to the airport. Riley drove me so I wouldn't have to worry about paying for parking and we exchanged a sad goodbye. He cupped my face and placed a soft kiss on my lips. That tingling feeling I always got when we kissed came rushing back.

"Remember, I love you. Call me when you make the funeral arrangements, I plan to fly out for it," he said.

"That's not necessary," I smiled, weakly.

"Yes, it is. I love you, Bella and I'm going to be there for you. That day is going to be so much worse than today."

I looked into his eyes and knew he meant what he had said, but meaning it and actually acting upon those words were two different things. Unfortunately for Riley, I had learned that he was a lot of talk and not a lot of action, unless you're talking about the action he had been partaking in with Victoria.

"I love you, too, and I will." I replied.

I hugged him one last time before walking away, losing myself in my thoughts again.

**A/N: Still interested in reading? I'm working on chapter 2 which will pick up with Bella landing in Seattle. Thanks again to my beta Dawn. This will be an Edward and Bella story, it will just take a couple more chapters before he makes his entrance. Let me know what you think.**** Thanks for reading.**


	3. The Nightmare Becomes Reality

**Thank you everyone who gave my new story a chance and to those who took the time to read it and then tell me your thoughts. I really appreciate hearing your thoughts.**

**Much love and many hugs go out to my amazing beta Dawn. Thank you bb, xo.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 2**

I released a huge sigh the moment the wheels touched down on the runway at SeaTac. I was never one who enjoyed flying; the seats were always uncomfortable with not enough leg room and my back ached afterwards. Even if I wanted to sleep, I couldn't because there was a screaming child. To pass the hours, I read a new Nora Roberts book.

Once inside the gate, I sent off a couple text messages, letting people know I had landed safely; I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I then rolled my bag to baggage claim and pick up area. The airport was quite busy with people who I assumed were getting an early start on the Thanksgiving travel.

_If only that was the reason why I had spent the morning traveling instead of getting ready for work._

Alice told me she'd be waiting. I thought it'd be a little difficult to find my short friend, but I was wrong. Above the crowd, I saw the black haired, petite woman standing on some chairs, waving her hand wildly. I shook my head and waved back as I headed in her direction.

I watched her jump down and swiftly make her way through the people towards me. Her eyes were already watery.

"Please don't, Alice. I don't want to cry anymore," I murmured, hugging her.

"I'm actually crying about your appearance. You look like shit. Did you get any sleep?"

I looked down at my oversized, old, ratty sweatshirt, yoga pants and UGGs before chuckling a little at her comment. I welcomed the little bit of humor she provided. If everyone around me was going to act sad, sympathetic and worried, I'd be having an emotional breakdown by the end of the day.

"Oh, Gidge, what am I going to do with you?" Alice asked, shaking her head with a slight smile.

Besides the smile, I knew she wasn't really upset since she used my childhood nickname.

Alice, Rosalie, Angela and I each had one. We would use them to write notes to each other in school so no one would know what or who we were talking about. We chose our names based on our favorite classic movie character—Alice was a big fan of Audrey Hepburn as Sabrina, Rosalie liked the strong-willed Doris Day as Jan in _Pillow Talk_, Angela loved to sing along with Julie Andrews who played Maria in _Sound of Musi_c, and I always liked Sandra Dee in _Gidget_. I liked how she was girly and tomboyish at the same time. Eventually we began to call each other these names out loud and it just stuck, with other friends and family picking them up.

"And you wonder why I put up such a fight when you told me you were moving across the country," she added.

"I normally don't dress like this, Sabrina," I contested. "I wanted something simple and comfortable. Plus, I don't have warm clothes anymore."

"Well, I can help you remedy that easily. Just say the word and I'll be there with my walking shoes ready to shop."

"Thanks," I smiled hoping she'd realize that I wasn't only thanking her for her offer to take me shopping.

"Anytime and you know that's what I'm here for. Okay," she said, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Do we need to wait for any bags?"

"Nope, just this one," I pointed to the rolling suitcase.

"Okay, let's get you home. I know your mom is eagerly awaiting your arrival. I talked to her this morning and apparently Eminem is already getting on her nerves. She says he's being overbearing," she giggled.

"That sounds like Emmett. He tends to hover and overdo it when he doesn't know how to handle a situation. You should see the way their kitchen looks when he and Rose get into an argument. He keeps the florist shop in business," I explained.

She led me out to the parking garage and to her new red convertible Mustang.

"Nice car, Sabrina."

"Thanks. I got a bonus after this lavish party I helped plan, which covered the down payment. I figured it was time to turn in that old Eclipse and get something a little more stylish," she explained, popping the trunk. "Let's put your bag back here, there isn't much room in the back seat."

I threw my bag in and shut the trunk while Alice got in the driver's side. She was starting the car as I opened the passenger door. We were quiet as we exited and headed towards the freeway, the only sound coming from the radio. I leaned my upper body against the door, resting my head against the window and stared out at the passing scenery.

Alice was the first to break the silence.

"So, I don't mean to bring up his name, but does Riley know?" she asked, hesitantly.

When I didn't immediately respond, she turned to look at me briefly before turning her eyes back to the road.

"Yes," I sighed as I sat up straight. "He came over last night and stayed."

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened ready to say something, but I stopped her. "Nothing happened. He was just there for me, held me together, Alice."

"You know I'm just looking out for you."

"I know. He must be feeling really brave because he wants to come out for the funeral. Just because my dad isn't here it doesn't mean Emmett won't take his place with the rifle or my mom won't be there to give him a piece of her mind."

Alice reached out and took my hand in hers when she noticed my face fall at the mention of my dad.

"We'll get through this. It's not going to be easy, but I'm here for you. I'll be the strong one."

I squeezed her hand and then looked up putting a small smile on my face.

"So, when do you go back or you don't know?" she asked.

"I don't know. I booked a one way flight. I don't even think Charlie made arrangements or anything. I know he and my mom made out wills, but I don't think that information is there. Then there is Thanksgiving in a couple days so we can't do anything before then. I just, I just…" I answered, my voice starting to rise towards the end as the stress began to creep up.

"Okay, okay, calm down. Take few deep breaths."

I did as she suggested and felt some of the tension leave my body.

"I was just wondering because if you're here next Friday, I wanted to ask you a favor."

"What?" I eyed her suspiciously.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. It's nothing bad."

"Again, what?"

"My father is setting me up on this blind date with one of his colleague's sons. The only reason why I'm doing this is because my mom says the guy is really cute and charming. I know, I know, what has gotten into me, but I figure what the hell, ya know?"

"I guess. So, what do I have to do?"

"Well, I've spoken to the guy a couple times. His name is Jasper. I know his family lives in Forks, but you can never be too careful so I told Jasper I wasn't comfortable going on a blind date with just him. I asked if he could invite a friend and I would do the same. Turns out he has a brother who is around the same age or something. I was going to invite Angela, but if you're in town, I'd much rather take you."

"Um," I stated as I thought about the idea. _Do I really want to go on a blind date after the week I'll be going through? Will I be ready for something like that?_

"Can I think about it?"

"Of course. I'm sure that head of yours is just spinning out of control and you can't make sense of anything."

"Are you reading my mind?"

"No, I just know you, Bella. This is what you do. I mean when you and Riley broke up, you called to let me know but then you didn't answer any of my phone calls or texts for two weeks. You like to hide inside your head or behind some book. I'm telling you…_you_ can't do that this time. _You_ need to talk about what's going on in your head, even if it doesn't make sense. _I_ need you to talk about it." Alice grabbed my hand again, this time entwining our fingers like we used to do when we were kids.

"I can't make promises, but I'll try. You just need to give me time to get over the shock. I still think this is all a bad dream."

"It'll be easier to process it all once you get some sleep, put your mind at rest."

"I hope so," I said, sighing. "Well,Dr. Alice, it's nice to see that your dad's career has rubbed off on you a bit."

"That's what happens when you're the daughter of a psychiatrist," she shrugged.

The rest of the ride we ignored the elephant in the room—or car, as it were—and talked about how her job was going. She animatedly told stories about some of the more interesting parties she helped plan or worked. She also asked about a few of the articles I had written over the past few months.

Turning down the street that led to my childhood home, I felt a wave of nostalgia hit me. The last time I had been down this road was a few months before. Charlie bought me a ticket to fly home to celebrate my birthday, which arrived a week after Riley and I ended things. My dad didn't want me to spend the day alone and miserable. He always made my birthday special without turning it into a spectacle—my twenty-sixth birthday was spent on the lake, fishing in the morning then a barbecue in the evening with family and friends, followed by a late night of playing Wii in the family room.

When we finally arrived at my parent's two-story house, my heart was beating a mile a minute and my stomach was in knots. I wasn't ready for it all to be a real. I wasn't ready to hear the story or see my mom cry.

Alice got out of the car first and went to the trunk to get my bag. I slowly took off my seat belt then opened the door and got out. I stretched and unconsciously looked around trying to decide if things felt different; they didn't. I was still waiting for my dad to open up the front door and say 'There's my little girl. How was the flight?' and then wrap me up in one of his big hugs that always took my breath away.

I felt the sadness start to seep into my body, looking for a way out, but I crossed my arms over my chest trying to keep it at bay. Alice, once again, took action, placing her arm around my waist and leading me to the front door.

I turned the knob and opened it, finding no one; the only noise we could hear was the sound of the vacuum cleaner. We ventured further into the house and found Emmett and Rose sitting in the family room and my mom cleaning the kitchen.

I walked up to her and waited for her to notice me. When she did, she didn't bother to turn off the machine before throwing her arms around my neck and crying into my shoulder. I held her as tight as I could.

"I'm so sorry, Mom." I repeated over and over.

"He was too young, Bella, too young," she sobbed. "How could this happen? It just makes no sense. I want him back. I just want my Charles back."

"I know, Mom. Me, too," I said as water pooled in my lids.

_Don't cry, Bella. Stay strong. Your mom needs you right now, stay strong._

I rubbed Renee's back until she calmed down and we pulled apart slowly.

"How was your flight?" she asked, wiping her tears and sniffling.

"Long, tiring, the usual," I answered, leaning against the counter. "It was weird to arrive and not have Dad be there waiting," I mentioned.

"I had big shoes to fill," Alice added sadly, and then moved to hug Renee.

I greeted my brother and sister-in-law as they joined us in the kitchen. They both looked tired; there was so much pain in their eyes.

"Hey, Gidget," Emmett said, enveloping me in his warming embrace.

"Hey," I smiled, weakly.

"I see that you didn't sleep a wink either."

"Nope. Hey, Jan," I said to Rose, trying to keep the reunion as lighthearted as possible.

We hugged for a few minutes before Alice joined to make it a group hug.

"It sucks that we have to be reunited under these circumstances," I commented.

"If only our Maria could be here with us right now. Then the group would be complete," Alice mentioned getting us to laugh at our childhood nicknames.

Emmett broke up our reunion, suggesting we move to the family room to sit. While the four of us tried to get comfortable, Emmett got us all drinks.

"So, you're missing one. Where is Angela?" my mom asked, continuing the conversation.

I looked from Rose to Alice, asking the same question. I briefly spoke with Angela the night before, just telling her the basic information. I explained that I didn't want to get into anything over the phone, which she understood. I hadn't heard from her since, but I knew she had to work.

"She told me she'll be driving down after work tonight so she should be here by seven or so. However, she said if business was slow, which I doubt it will be, seeing as we are just days away from Thanksgiving, that she'll close up shop early," Alice explained.

"Sometimes, I wish I took her up on her offer to work together. Then I would have been closer these past couple years, instead of across the country," I mumbled to myself, but Renee heard me.

"Oh, don't start that, Bella. You know you wouldn't have been happy planning vacations for people. You would go stir crazy having to sit in front of a computer all day, just waiting for the next customer. Your job gives you the opportunity to meet new people, go on adventures and enlighten your readers," Renee said, basically hushing me.

"Here are some drinks for you all," Emmett said, carrying in a tray with five glasses of what looked like juice.

"Thanks, Emmy," Rose said, taking a glass.

I took a gulp feeling parched and nearly spit it out. It was juice with a lot of something extra mixed in.

"Did you make us vodka cranberry?" I asked.

He looked at me sheepishly. "I figured we could all use something to take the edge off."

"I won't deny that, but forewarn a sister next time. I mean, what if I took some meds earlier to calm the nerves?" I questioned, taking a sip this time.

"Did you?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Yes, Emmett, and I'm going to continue drinking this," I answered, shaking my head. "Of course not. I'm not that stupid."

"Okay, just making sure. You can never be too careful. I had to check with mom first since she takes that migraine medicine every now and then."

The room went silent, each of us taking frequent sips of our drinks. _I think we would have been better off with shots the way we're going._ Every few minutes, Emmett's phone would vibrate but he didn't move to answer it.

I glanced around the room, really looking for the first time since I had arrived home. The room screamed Charlie with Renee's feminine touches thrown in here and there. There was the brown leather couch that Alice, Renee and I were sitting on, the matching oversized chair that Rose was relaxing on and the old wooden rocking chair which was occupied by Emmett. The rocking chair was the only constant piece of furniture in this room.

At least once a year, Renee felt the need to move the furniture around and every couple of years, she would drag Charlie to the store to buy new pieces. Renee's family moved around quite a bit before settling in Forks when she was fourteen. Even though it had been decades since she last dealt with a move, she still had that constant need for change instilled in her body.

Charlie may have grumbled, having to pay for new furniture, but he did it because he loved Renee; plus she would always let him choose what he wanted, knowing he would get the most use out of the room. She would add a throw blanket on the back of the sofa and the pictures of Emmett and me growing up around the room. The focal point wasn't those pictures though; it was his big screen TV that got plenty of use between baseball and football seasons.

"I called him, multiple times and he never answered, which was unlike your father," Renee started, pulling me out of my reverie. "He was supposed to be home from work at four-thirty, but I didn't worry until a little after five. I know how Charlie can get bogged down with paper work or get to talking with the other officers. I called his phone several times over the next thirty minutes, leaving a voicemail each time. I remember the last message was really frantic. I finally called the police station at five-thirty asking one of the officers to take his route home. Maybe an animal ran out into the street and he drove off the road and he was knocked unconscious in an accident.

"I was antsy, I couldn't sit around and wait, so I decided to also make the drive. I grabbed the keys and went outside. That's when I saw the police cruiser, sitting in the driveway, empty. I walked around the front of the car and that's when I saw him. He was just lying there, so still and I knew he was gone. I felt it in my heart, but I couldn't let go, I had to do something. I screamed his name and ran to him. He was so cold. I gave him CPR, though it was useless, until an officer arrived at the house. He immediately called 9-1-1, and then joined me on the ground.

"I remember him telling me to stop, saying it was too late, but I couldn't stop. The officer had to physically remove my hands. He was so nice, it was one of Charlie's new guys. He let me scream and cry. He didn't leave my side until Emmett showed up. I'll have to bake him some cookies or something as a thanks," Renee finished.

"Did Dad ever mention having any problems?" Emmett asked.

"No. I know he was busy with end of the year paperwork, wanting to get it all done before he took two weeks off for Christmas and New Years, but nothing out of the ordinary. I'll have to talk to his doctor. I just keep thinking…what if I had gone outside sooner instead of waiting. I would have seen his car and went looking for him. Maybe I could have saved him," she disclosed.

"You can't think like that, Mom. It will drive you insane if you do," I cautioned.

"Yeah, Mom. You heard the coroner, he's pretty sure dad was dead before he hit the ground," Emmett added. "Hopefully by tomorrow, we'll have the autopsy results to prove that."

"Please, don't dwell on the 'what ifs', Renee," Rose repeated.

Renee nodded her head, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that those thoughts weren't going to go away.

"Okay, so I don't really want to talk about this, but what are the plans?" I asked. "I mean, I know what you want, but not him."

"Charlie and I didn't really talk about his wishes. I figured the three of us can come up with something. We have an appointment with Drennan and Ford Funeral Home tomorrow afternoon."

"Well, I know Dad would want it to be more of a celebration of his life than a sad funeral," Emmett commented.

"I agree," Alice seconded. "Charlie would want a party in his honor. He wouldn't want tears of sadness."

"Whatever we decide to do, it'll have to wait until after the holiday, most likely Saturday. Until then, I have some phone calls I need to make. If you all will excuse me," Renee said, standing up and walking towards the stairs.

We listened as she walked up each step, most likely headed to the office.

"How is she really doing, Eminem?" Alice and I asked in unison.

"Jinx," we said together out of habit.

"She slept on the sofa last night. She said she can't sleep in their bed. She asked Rosie to grab some clothes out of their room this morning. I haven't seen her step one foot in there. Their room smells like him, like his cologne."

"Yeah, I can smell it sitting in this room. I'm sure it's much stronger in there. Just sitting here, you expect him to come walking through the front door any minute with a cooler full of fish or a crazy story from his day at work," I added.

"Last night, when Rose and I stayed over, my mind kept fooling itself into believing that he was working the overnight shift and he'd be back in the morning."

"I know the feeling," I said, shaking my head.

"I don't know how she's going to stay in this house if she can't even sleep in the bed. Everywhere I look, I picture Dad doing something in that spot, saying something, and she has more memories than I do," Emmett mentioned.

"I guess we'll take it one day at a time and talk to her about it all once we get through this week," I replied.

"I will say this, Renee is always looking out for her kids. Even through the entire trauma of last night, she was in a way pimping you out," Rose said. "That officer she talked about, she asked if he was dating anyone and if not then her daughter would be perfect for him."

"Oh Lord," I shook my head as Alice laughed. "She did not."

"Yes, she did. Lucky for you, though, Officer Cullen said he was seeing someone."

**A/N: Officer Cullen? Hmm...**

**I'm sorry that I wasn't able to reply to all of your reviews, for some reason FanFiction isn't letting me. Please know I read each one and I appreciate you taking the time to write your thoughts/feelings about the chapter.**

**Nicknames:**

**Bella-Gidget _Gidget_**

**Alice-Sabrina _Sabrina_**

**Rosalie-Jan _Pillow Talk_**

**Angela-Maria _Sound of Music_**

****I've already started work on the next chapter but not sure when it will be posted. For those that have asked, I don't have a posting schedule, but after next week I should have more time to devote to writing. I want to try for once every two weeks, but I'm not going to make any promises.**_  
><em>**

**Let me know what you think by hitting that review button.**


	4. Dance With My Father

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to post. My beta got it back to me last week, but my younger brother came into town so I was busy entertaining him. Then yesterday was Father's Day and it was just too hard to post this chapter on such a special day. **

**Thanks goes out as always to my amazing beta Dawn. Thank you for the comments and suggestions. I tried to figure out a song to go with this chapter and the only one I could come up with for how Bella is feeling is Luther Vandross "Dance with my Father". Check it out if you haven't heard it. I always thought it was just a pretty song, but it now holds a special meaning in my heart.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 3**

_Charles "Charlie" Swan_  
><em>Jan. 25, 1959 – Nov. 21, 2010<em>

_Charles "Charlie" Swan, 51, of Forks, passed away Nov. 21, 2010. He was born in Forks, Washington to Geoffrey and Helen Swan._

_Charlie completed high school in Forks. He then joined the Washington Basic Law Enforcement Academy in Burien, Washington. Once he graduated, Charlie moved back to Forks and joined the Forks Police Department. Over the years, Charlie worked his way up the ranks and has been Chief of Police for the past fifteen years._

_Charlie was married to Renee Higginbotham for more than 32 years._

_He was an avid fisher, a sports fanatic and enjoyed the outdoors._

_He will be remembered for his work ethic and honesty, as well as his love for family and friends._

_Charlie is survived by his son Emmett (Rosalie) of Seattle and a daughter, Isabella of Charleston._

_A celebration of his life will be at 1 p.m. Saturday at Forks Cemetery._

_In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Salvation Army._

The newspaper with Charlie's obit still sat on the kitchen table from Thursday. I had read it several times since it was printed in the Forks Forum on Thanksgiving Day.

It was the first year that the Swan family didn't make a big deal about the holiday. In years past, Renee would wake up early to start cooking the turkey. Once I woke up, she and I would work on the side dishes while Emmett and Charlie watched TV. We would eat around five p.m., once all the men and women from the police department who didn't have families arrived to enjoy the feast. It was tradition; a tradition that fell to the wayside in the wake of a sudden death.

I was sitting, sipping on a cup of coffee, waiting for Renee to finish getting ready for the day's funeral service. We were supposed to have already left to get to the cemetery on time, but I had learned that Renee's lack of time management had only gotten worse since Charlie's death. In her defense, they wouldn't start the service without us.

"Okay, I'm ready," Renee declared, walking down the stairs and trying to put in her other earring. "How late are we?"

"It doesn't matter, Mom. We can arrive whenever we want," I replied, standing up to put my half empty cup in the sink.

"Have you heard from Riley?"

I informed Renee Friday night that Riley might be at the funeral service, but that he hadn't called to confirm anything. She said she wouldn't do anything unless he mentioned Charlie being in a better place or anything about God's will. And that went for anybody, not just Riley. Renee believed that God was cruel and evil for taking Charlie away from her. She felt he was better off on Earth with her, living out their dream of traveling around the country in an RV once they both decided to retire, which she had hoped would be within ten years.

"No, he hasn't called or texted," I shrugged, somewhat sadly.

A part of me—the part that still loved Riley—wanted him to show up. To me, it meant that he still cared about me; still loved me and that there was hope for us. The other part of me was yelling 'Shut up, you stupid idiot. He cheated on you, left you and didn't look back once until this all happened.'

"You're better off, Bella. I think you should avoid marriage and love in general because all it does is end in heartbreak. I wouldn't want you to ever go through what I'm going through. This pain is all encompassing and if it wasn't for the medication the doctor gave me, I wouldn't even be going to this service."

"I know, Mom," I sighed.

"Alright, let's get this over with before Emmett sends a police escort," Renee commented, lifting her purse onto her shoulder.

I walked to the front door and grabbed the keys off the hook nearby. I opened the door and found a man wearing a police uniform standing in front of me with one arm raised in a way that it looked as if he was getting ready to knock.

"Hey, hi, hello," he fumbled.

I cocked my head looking at him curiously.

"Sorry, let me start that again. Hi, I'm Officer Edward Cullen. I was sent here by Emmett to make sure everything was okay. He's worried that you two aren't at the service yet. Is everything okay?" he asked, doing his best to look inside the house with me standing in the middle of the doorway.

"Oh, Officer Cullen, what are you doing here?" Renee asked, coming around the corner.

"Hello, Mrs. Swan," he smiled. "I'm here to bring you two to the funeral."

"Oh, you don't have to do that. Bella is more than capable of getting us there safely."

"I'm on orders, Mrs. Swan. Now, you wouldn't want me to disobey orders, would you?" he asked, eyeing her.

Renee shook her head and instantly gave in. "No wonder why Charlie always liked you, though I only knew you by Cullen. I bet you never gave him any lip."

Edward smiled fondly, "I had my moments, Mrs. Swan. So, are you going to let me escort you two beautiful ladies or am I going to have to call for backup?"

"Well, I don't want to be any trouble. Bella, will you lock up please?" she asked stepping past me and grabbing Edward's offered arm.

I was utterly confused by the conversation that had occurred before me. Either, Renee had a sweet spot for that Officer Cullen or her medicine kicked in at the right time for him. _Officer Edward Cullen...where have I heard that name before? Officer Cullen? Oh, he's the one who helped Renee when she found Charlie. The one who stayed with her until Emmett arrived. Oh, _I groaned, _the one who she asked if he was single and he said no. Dammit. I hope this isn't going to be an awkward car ride._

I finished locking the door and made my way to his police cruiser. Renee was seated in the back, leaving the front seat open for me. I shook my head as I slid in—the door was already open—and closed it.

"Is everything okay?" Edward questioned, looking at me.

"Huh?" I asked, turning my attention to him.

"You're shaking your head."

"Oh. No, everything is fine," I replied, buckling my seatbelt. "We can go now."

"Okay," he said, turning on the lights and hitting the gas pedal. He sped down the road and out of our community towards the cemetery.

The usually fifteen minute trip only took ten. I found myself grabbing onto the door handle a few times as Edward ran through two red lights and a few stop signs. Because I was slightly scared for my life, I remained quiet for the short trip, afraid to distract at all.

"Sorry about that, but I was told to get you two here as fast as I could," he commented, stepping out of the car. "Even if that meant using my power of authority illegally."

He went around the front of the car and moved to open my door, but I beat him to it so he opened the door for Renee instead. I looked across the street to see a crowd of people waiting and Emmett making his way towards us.

"Mom," Emmett sighed. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm here, Emmett. I don't want to be, but I'm here. You obviously sent the right person to get me out the door and here quickly."

"Thank you, Edward. I appreciate your help," Emmett said, shaking Edward's hand.

"No problem. I'm going to take my seat."

"Alright, everybody is waiting. The preacher has somewhere to be at three so we need to get this show on the road," Emmett mentioned.

"Alright, alright," Renee muttered, leading the pack toward the crowd.

Emmett and I had to walk swiftly to catch up to her.

"Sorry, I'm late," Renee apologized as she neared the group. "My husband was always the prompt one and without him here, there isn't anyone to keep my on time."

People nodded, understanding, and smiled sadly; some offered a comforting hand as Renee passed by, which she held briefly before moving on to the next one. I stared straight ahead, avoiding the sympathetic looks.

We took our seats in the front row with Rosalie, Charlie's best friend, Billy, and his son, Jacob, Alice with her parents, Andrew and Cynthia, and Angela with her fiancé, Ben. Behind us, I knew there were more friends from the Rez and Forks hospital because we talked about the seating arrangement ahead of the service. In the third and fourth rows, the last rows of chairs, sat men and women from the Forks Police Department. They were all dressed in their uniform; each wore their hat and their badge which had a black band around it, recognizing Charlie's death.

Fellow law enforcement from Port Angeles and Seattle stood in their full attire in the back mixed in with hundreds of people from town. To me, they were just faces in the crowd, people I may have met once or twice but couldn't remember their name. Even though I didn't know who many of them were, I was touched to see them. Honor guards from Seattle stood to the side, not far from the preacher.

I stared straight ahead, over the casket, towards the rows of tombstones as the preacher began. I tried my best to block out everything that was being said, all the sniffles and sobs. I didn't care to hear what the preacher had to say about Charlie, retelling stories that Renee had mentioned days before, telling the people that sat and stood around us what kind of man was no longer with us. I already knew and I didn't need to be told by someone who had never met Charlie.

I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to say goodbye. It wasn't how it was supposed to go. Charlie was supposed to die as an old, wrinkly, gray haired man. He was supposed to be around to torment future boyfriends before I found the right one. He was supposed to be around to walk me down the aisle the day I finally got married. He was supposed to be around to be a grandpa to the kids I hoped to have. It wasn't right.

It was those kinds of thoughts that kept me from crying because they would only make me angry and realize a little more just how cruel God could be.

I thought I had successfully made it through the entire thing as I noticed the preacher start to wrap up by closing his journal, but then Renee broke down sobbing. From what I gathered from his last few words, he mentioned something about God having his reasons.

"That's crap! There is no good reason for my Charlie to not be here with me," she wailed. "He's not in a better place, he's not!"

I wrapped my arm around Renee's shoulders, pulling her as close to me as possible. I felt Emmett place his hand on her lower back and rub small circles. I kept my mouth shut because nothing I could say would make things better and I felt her pain to an extent.

The preacher had nothing else to add and invited people to come forward to share their own stories about Charlie. A number of people spoke—many I recognized, including Officer Cullen.

Since I was no longer distracted or scared for my life, I finally got a good look at him. He was very attractive. His green eyes were the first thing to catch my attention; even with the few feet between us, I was trapped. He had a handsome face—a chiseled jaw line with a square chin, a straight nose that wasn't too wide, thick brown eyebrows and a pair of lips that had me licking my own. _Whoa, where did that come from?_

I shook my head and blinked myself out of the trance I was in, choosing to focus on one of the bouquets of flowers around the casket. That was until he spoke. Officer Cullen cleared his throat, and for some reason, this time his voice had an effect on me. His voice wasn't assertive, strong and authoritative like before; it was softer, cool and so smooth that goose bumps broke out along my arms. And even though he was talking to dozens of people, I felt as if he was only talking to me.

I dared another look at him. He had thick, unruly brown hair with natural looking copper color highlights. He was tall and his police uniform accentuated his athletic build. I couldn't stop staring and I felt horrible for ogling him at my father's funeral.

Edward was so captivating that I found myself actually listening to the story he was telling.

"Charlie knew that I didn't want to work in Forks. When I dreamed about being a police officer, I always saw myself in Seattle where there are crimes to investigate and criminals to put behind bars. I didn't want to be in small town Forks where we find excitement in pulling over someone driving ten over the speed limit, which is rare," he explained as some people snortled.

"I had been working in Seattle for about a year before all those police shootings and it scared my mom so much that she begged me to move to Forks. I ignored her, but she would call me everyday crying until I gave in. My first few months on the job were boring as hell. I complained everyday about the lack of work to do and arrests. Charlie would always tell me to relax, that something would happen eventually. And it did. I had been on the job for six months and it was Halloween. We got a call about some kids going around egging and toilet papering yards. I thought, finally, I can reprimand some kids, take them into custody and hold them until their parents arrive.

"I was driving to the address I was given when I saw some kids running down a driveway away from a house that had a small fire burning on the porch. I put on my blue lights, pulled over rushing out of the car and up to the door. I stomped on the fire putting it out within seconds. It was then that I smelt it...that foul odor of dog poop. Those kids had ding dong ditched an empty house and I fell for it.

"To move this story forward, I never found those kids on either incident, but when I got back to the station, I found out who was the real culprit. There was a brown paper bag sitting on my desk and I bet you all can guess what was inside. Turns out, Charlie asked those kids to do the prank and had one of his neighbors call in the fake complaint just to give me something to do," he chuckled as we all laughed. "It was a lesson well learned. I never complained after that. I'm going to miss my chief. He taught me a lot about being an officer, especially in a small town, and life in general. I just wish I was able to know him longer. I know you'll be looking down on us, Chief, making sure we're doing our job properly."

He turned toward the casket and bowed his head for a few seconds. He then walked back to his seat.

It was quiet for a few minutes as no one else came forward to speak. The Honor guard took that as a sign that it was over so two members stepped forward, one on each end of the casket, and lifted up the flag; they moved it over and then folded it properly. They brought the triangle shaped fabric to Renee and the guns were fired. I jumped with the first few, but then, I became used to the loud noise.

Renee thanked the men and pulled the flag close to her chest, letting more tears fall freely. We remained seated as people started to filter out quietly, some stopping to offer their condolences again. We had thought about playing music, but decided against it, wanting the gun salute to be the finale.

I stood up, leaving Renee with Emmett and walked towards the casket. I laid my hand on the smooth surface and quietly told Charlie how much I loved and missed him. I then took a red rose out of one of the bouquets and placed it on top of the coffin.

"You would think Charlie would have been able to work some magic and make it a little bit warmer," Rosalie commented, rubbing her gloved hands together.

"It's kind of fitting, don't you think? There's even rain in the forecast, which people say is good luck," I replied solemnly. "I view it as Charlie crying from the heavens, feeling bad for the pain he has caused all of us, especially Renee."

"I could see that," Alice added, slipping an arm around my waist.

Suddenly, Angela broke out in a fit of giggles and three pair of eyes turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm just remembering your thirteenth birthday party, Bella, when Charlie walked in from work, looking mean as hell and eyeing all the boys in the room. They all quickly separated themselves from us girls. Then that Spice Girls song 'Wannabe' came on and he broke out the running man."

"Then he started doing the dance moves that the four of us made up to go with the song. I remember that party," Alice jumped in, giggling. "You were so embarrassed, Bella."

"Could you blame me? It was my first boy/girl party and there's Charlie shaking his butt in front of everyone," I smiled, shaking my head as I remembered my father's antics.

"But you got over it because we all joined him and finished the dance together. We got a great applause," Rose laughed, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "And they all wanted Charlie to stay and dance some more."

"After that, he always tried to volunteer to chaperone at school dances using the excuse that the kids love him," I said. "Thank you. Even though I don't like remembering, hearing stories about him are the only times I smile or laugh. I'm so glad you guys are here."

I wrapped my arms around Alice and Rosalie as Angela stepped closer to join in the group hug.

"We wouldn't be anywhere else," Angela stated, rubbing my arm.

We held onto each other for a few minutes before Ben cautiously interrupted our time together. He and Angela had to run back to their house to let their new puppy out before heading to my house for food and drinks. I hugged them both before watching them walk away.

Alice, Rosalie and I then turned to walk back to my family. That's when I saw Riley talking to Renee; he was holding her hand.

"Wow, look who actually kept his word and showed up," Alice commented, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Please don't start anything, Alice," I sighed.

"I'm not going to. I was just making an observation."

"An observation that I was also thinking," Rosalie added.

"I know you guys don't like him, but sadly, I want him here," I said, turning to face them both. "I didn't realize how much I needed to see him, until just now. I know it's stupid, but I want his comfort and his attention. I watch you and Emmett, Rose, consoling each other and I want that for now. At least until I can figure out a way to deal with this."

"But, Bella…"

"I know I have you guys, but it's different with Riley. There aren't as many memories with him and my dad. And there's times when I need to not remember because I don't want to be angry and I can't cry when I need to be strong for my mom."

"You need to grieve, too, Bella," Rose argued, grabbing my hand.

"I will, at some point, but not now."

They both narrowed their eyes at me before sighing and mumbling 'fine'.

"Thank you."

I turned to see Emmett standing behind Renee with a slight snarl on his face. I needed to save Riley before my brother attacked.

"I may not like you, Riley, but I know Bella will appreciate the gesture you have made," I overheard Renee say as we approached.

"It's the least I could do, Mrs. Swan," he replied, letting go of Renee's hand. "Hey."

"Hi, you came," I smiled, pulling him into a hug.

"Yes, I told you I would. I know I've broken a lot of promises, Bella, but this was one that I just couldn't break," Riley explained.

"Thank you," I said, pulling back from his embrace.

"Hi, Rosalie, Alice," he waved.

They offered snotty smiles before walking away with their arms crossed.

"When did you arrive?" I asked as I pulled him away from the group.

"I flew out last night after work and stayed at some hotel in town," he answered.

"When do you leave?"

"I'm here until Monday night, but my parents said I can stay until I'm no longer welcome. By the way, they also said don't worry about rushing back. Technically, you could do a lot of your work from here, if you really got the itch."

"Work is in the back of my mind, but I can't focus on it right now."

"That's fine. There's no rush. You look tired," he commented, brushing a finger under one of my eyes. "You haven't been sleeping?"

"No," I shook my head. "My mom hasn't been sleeping, either. She's up cleaning the house, going through paperwork in the office or sitting outside on the patio. I can't sleep until I know she's gone to bed, which generally isn't until late in the morning when the sun is coming up."

"I'm sorry, babe. Has she tried taking any sleeping pills?"

"She refuses. This happy pill that she is on now is supposed to make her drowsy but she fights through it."

"Well, maybe after today, the stress from it all will lift and she will crash."

"I hope so. I'm worried about her, Riley. I've never seen her like this. Not even after the death of her mom. I feel helpless."

"You just being here for her is doing a lot, I'm sure."

"Which is why it'll be hard for me to leave," I admitted, closing my eyes.

"Hey, Gidge, we're heading back to the house since people are supposed to be showing up soon. Are you riding with us?" Emmett asked, looking only at me.

"Hey, Emmett, I'm sorry to hear about your dad," Riley stupidly stated.

I watched Emmett turn his attention to Riley and narrow his eyes. I looked back and forth between my brother and the man I still loved, feeling the tension rolling off both of them. I didn't want there to be an argument. Charlie would not approve, even though I was sure if he were there, he would've been standing right next to Emmett.

"Calm down, Eminem. I know you won't like it, but I'm going to go with Riley. I'll see you back at the house, okay?"

"Fine, Gidget," he harrumphed.

"I love you, Eminem," I said, hugging my brother.

"I love you, too, Gidge."

"He really doesn't like me, huh?" Riley asked, once Emmett was out of ear shot.

"What do you expect, Riley?"

"Yeah, I guess I can't blame the guy. I really fucked things up with you, but I'm here now. Shouldn't that count for something?"

"In my eyes, yes, but in theirs, no. It's just something you're going to have to accept for now."

"Okay. By the way, how much does me being here count?"

"Considering it's the first nice thing you've done in the past few months and you flew across the country, I'd say three percent."

"Oh, ouch, burn," he said, pressing his hand to his heart as if he was in pain. "I hoped for at least thirty percent."

"Yeah, well, this is a tough scale, buddy."

"And I'm ready to work until I get to one-hundred percent, more than one-hundred percent," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead.

I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of his lips on my skin.

"I really am glad you're here and you didn't let me down."

"Yeah, well, someone has to be here to distract you from the reality and patiently wait until you decide to come back from Isabella land."

"See, you get it. Why doesn't anyone else? I love my friends, but they want me to deal with my dad's death, to give into the grief. I can't be the one breaking down right now, not when Renee is, too. This is about her, not me. I will give in when I know that she is okay," I said adamantly.

"That could be awhile," he mentioned.

"I have time," I shrugged.

"I will tell you this, Bella," he started, holding my face between his hands to make sure I was looking at him. "I will let you live in Isabella land until it starts to affect your health and well-being. Then, I will step in and take you to get help."

"Okay."

"Alright, I know you're doing your damndest to avoid going home, but we really should go before Emmett sends that officer to come get you again."

"I know. Let's go," I quickly leaned in and pecked his lips before letting him lead me to the car.

I wasn't sure why Riley got on a plane and flew across the country, but I wasn't ready to question it. I also wasn't ready to ask him about his relationship with Victoria. For now, I was content in having him around, like it used to be. Like when I knew what to expect out of my life because within the past week I felt as if I was barely keeping my head above water.

**A/N: Thank you for reading. Now, let me know what you think especially when it comes to Bella and Riley. What do you think of Officer Cullen? Any thoughts on their first meeting?  
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